5 Womanhood in TV Show “One Day at a Time” – Arden DeForest

Arden DeForest

Gender and Development in Latin America

Professor Esther Hernández-Medina

April 30, 2023

Introduction

“There are a lot of jerks out there, and I don’t know if it’s worse now or not, but I know I would never want you to change who you are because of them. And who you are is Cuban and American. This is your country, too, and you deserve to be happy in it”(The Turn, 23:24)

Penelope smiles kindly at her kid as she deals out this profound commentary on multicultural identity. Insights like these are not an uncommon occurrence in the award-winning sitcom One Day at a Time, a 2017 reboot of a show of the same name. It features a Cuban-American family that lives in LA as they navigate and grapple with modern issues in comedic, heart-warming, and thoughtful ways. Central to this paper will be three characters in particular; vivacious, glamorous grandmother Lydia, witty, head-strong single mom Penelope, and Gen Z social justice warrior Elena. Lydia and Elena especially clash on matters of culture, because of the generational gap as well as the differences between their Cuban and American upbringings. One Day at a Time creates nuanced and complex Latina characters through the interactions that Lydia and Elena have surrounding traditional Cuban culture. Lydia is very protective of her Cuban heritage, while Elena contests and interrogates gender roles and cultural traditions. Ultimately, however, both women are able to learn from each other and grow in their worldviews because they have a foundation of mutual love and respect.

At the end of season 1, Elena also begins questioning her sexuality and comes out as a lesbian. She later begins dating someone non-binary, forcing her mother and grandmother to confront their internalized homophobia and re-examine their expectations of her. In this paper, I will look at interactions such as this one between Elena and Lydia that exemplify the differences in Cuban and American conceptions of womanhood, gender, and sexuality that influence their respective identities.

Representation of Latina Characters

Latina/o characters are normally confined to narrow stereotypes and a, “flattening of difference” that homogenizes the Latino/a experience (Del Rio and Moran, 2020). They are deprived of depth, specificity, and complexity. Creators Calderon Kellett and Royce, however, intentionally aimed to expand their narrative through more nuanced depictions in One Day at a Time. According to professors del Rio and Moran, “as a cultural text, One Day at a Time holds tremendous potential to challenge the dominant regimes of representation that define Latina/os in the culture. It invites identification into authentic, specific experiences of being Cuban American in Southern California and negotiates conflicts and interests defining Latinidad with complexity and diversity” (del Rio and Moran, 2020). For example, in the first episode of the second season, Elena grapples with the fact that she is much more white passing than the rest of her family, and so benefits more often from white privilege. This contradicts her internal sense of self as a proud, Cuban woman. The show acknowledges the multi-layered complexities of colorism and passing privilege. Elena is also quick to call out problematic or stereotypical behavior in her grandmother and mother. When her brother makes a video for school about his family, featuring a coffee bean farmer and dancer with a basket of fruit on her head, Elena exclaims,  “you’re making us out to be stereotypes. We’re not that different from everyone else” (Viva Cuba, 26:07).

Success in broadcast TV is dependent on selling ad time to companies and appealing to as many people as possible. Being on the streaming service Netflix, however, allows the creators more freedom because the show does not need to comply with certain conventions as strictly and can foster more complex and deep characters (del Rio and Moran, 2020). This is because Netflix uses the subscription model, “where programming sells the service to individuals” (del Rio and Moran, 2020). On a personal note, I adore this show and admire its authenticity. I found myself both laughing and crying during nearly each episode, and appreciate that the show could have easily become cheesy or superficial, perhaps opting for a fluffy family comedy, but chose to push boundaries. I identified with elements of Elena’s exploration of queerness and was touched to see non-binary representation through Elena’s partner, Syd.

Theoretical Framework and Context

First, it is necessary to build a framework through which to understand what is meant by ‘gender,’ ‘gender role,’ and ‘woman’. According to trans historian Jules Gill-Peterson, “the term gender role is used to signify all those things that a person says or does to disclose himself or herself as having the status of boy or man, girl or woman, respectively.” (Gill-Peterson, 97). Even this definition leaves room for interpretation, as the labels of ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are culturally dependent, but what it does emphasize is that gender is not static or defined by biology. Gender roles, according to Gill-Peterson, are salient, however. Author and professor Kyla Schuller is more specific in her definition of women, writing that, “woman is the cultural role assigned to the female sex. Woman, in this view, is a gender, a social script produced over time that stems entirely from cultural norms” (Schuller, 249). ‘Women’ can therefore look vastly unique and distinct between different cultures. Professor Karin Martin also expresses that, “microsociological work…suggests that gender is something that is ‘done’. These two concepts, ‘gender performance’ and ‘doing gender’ are similar–both suggest that managed, adorned, fashioned, properly comported and moving bodies establish gender and gender relations” (Martin, 1998). This affirms that gender is not necessarily tied to biology, but rather, is a performance expressed by a body. Too often, “women are defined in relation to men, the norm” (Lugones, 8), and not studied in their own respect. Gender identity can hugely affect one’s life, but seeing men as the default or norm can mean this impact is ignored or overlooked.

Historical Context of Cuban Culture and Attitudes Toward Gender

With the understanding that gender and femininity are dependent on culture, we must delve deeper into Cuban womanhood specifically. Lydia reveals in season 1, episode 9 that she came to America with the Pedro Pan program when she was 15, meaning she was born between 1945 and 1947. Despite the changes that occurred officially after the Cuban revolution in regard to gender, the culture of machismo, so common in many Latin American countries, is very much alive and well (Wadley, 2015). Though the denotation of machismo is simply masculinity, the larger cultural connotation is a concept akin to toxic masculinity and the positioning of men as superior to women (Morena, 2020). There is little recognition that misogyny is an issue in Cuba, even when women face catcalling every day. However, “most Cubans (including Cuban women) do not believe sexism exists because they grow up hearing that it was eradicated by the revolution” (Wadley, 2015). They, therefore, might find it hard to recognize and call out disrespectful behavior. Additionally, in the 1950s, “most of the characteristics that defined Cuban women in the popular imaginary stemmed from their relation to men either as their companions or their mothers” (Fabregas, 2010). This cultural context greatly explains Lydia’s tendency to define herself in relation to men–describing herself as a mother, wife, or grandmother rather than as her own person. By contrast, Elena is actively involved in the feminist movement and refuses to let men hold power over her.

The Quinceañera Conflict

Though the series is littered with allusions to gender, I will be drawing on 4 specific episodes that best exemplify the differences between Lydia and Elena’s senses of womanhood. Airing on January 6, 2017, the show’s pilot episode, This Is It, was a smashing hit; earning a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes (Rotten Tomatoes). The 31-minute episode introduces the audience to the characters and Elena’s critical stance on Cuban culture. The central conflict is Elena’s upcoming quinceañera, a Cuban tradition that Elena is quick to pronounce misogynistic. She views the party as a chance to be, “paraded around in front of the men of the village like a piece of property to be traded for two cows and a goat” (This Is It, 4:24). Elena refuses to go through with the celebration simply because it is tradition, and resents both her mother and grandmother for forcing it on her.

Lydia, on the other hand, believes quinces are a celebration of transitioning from childhood to adulthood and that Elena is ‘throwing away’ her Cuban heritage (This Is It, 4:22). Author and professor Stephanie Pridgeon also highlights the cultural importance of quinceañeras, writing that they, “are particularly salient for immigrant communities in the United States insofar as, in addition to marking a watershed moment in an individual’s coming-of-age, they play an important part in maintaining cultural identities related to immigrant communities’ countries of origin” (Pridgeon, 2022). It is therefore much more than a simple party, but is, as Lydia views it, a way for Elena to stay connected to her identity and family.

Through this example, we see how important Lydia’s Cuban heritage is to her, but that Elena is less attached to her family’s culture and remains unswayed by her grandmother’s argument. What eventually does changes Elena’s mind is her mother’s confession that she wanted, “people to show up and say, ‘Look at the amazing single mom pulling it all together by herself’” (This Is It, 27:53). Raising Elena to be the smart, independent young woman that she is is a huge point of pride for her mother. While Elena does not initially have any good reason to engage in this Cuban tradition, redefining her quinceañera in the context of her mother’s achievements provides reason enough for her to go through with it.

It is in this episode that we also begin to see the ways in which Cuban culture influences both Lydia and Penelope’s understanding of gender. For example, Penelope tells Elena, “You’re Cuban, you’re 15, you’re going to have a big party, with a poofy dress and a bad photo. It’s what we do” (This Is it, 15:57). By ‘we’ she is referring, presumably, to Cuban women, therefore including Elena in a long line of Cuban women. Additionally, we begin to learn about an important aspect of Lydia’s understanding of gender; that it is filtered through a heteronormative lens that will be explored later in this essay.

Consent and Women’s Autonomy

When Penelope shares her struggles with her husband who is serving overseas, Lydia is quick to explain that “we are Cuban. We don’t get divorced, we die” (This Is It, 23:52). Penelope and Victor fight often, and later divorce. She is perpetuating the notion that even when women are unhappy or feel their needs are not being met in a marriage, they have no choice but to remain in the relationship. Author and historian Stephanie Coontz describes this phenomenon, explaining that, in heterosexual marriages, “if her husband does get dissatisfied, [the wife] has fewer options than he does in the work world, and will be far worse off after a divorce” (Coontz, 2013).

In season 3, when giving Elena’s younger brother dating advice, Lydia tells him,  “don’t take no for an answer” and later, “every no is a yes in disguise” (Outside, 11:05 and 11:20). She encourages Alex to disrespect women and disregard their opinions, and attempts to maintain autonomy. The entirety of the episode demonstrates that these views come from her own life experience in Cuba, where she has been taught to normalize abusive behavior. Elena, on the other hand, is appalled at her grandmother’s reaction because she has been raised to believe in consent and women’s’ right to choose. She turns to her grandmother and exclaims angrily, “oh my god, abuelita, you are an enabler of toxic masculinity…it’s how society has encouraged men to define their maleness as being aggressive, unemotional, sex-obsessed” to which Lydia responds, “you’re just describing a man” (Outside, 11:25). Here again, she seems to be describing her experience with men. She has been conditioned to accept toxic behavior without question, while Elena is highly critical of patriarchal ideals. We see another example of this when Penelope is explaining the rude, misogynistic tendencies of a co-worker and says, “he’s not smacking me on the ass and going, ‘¡Oye, mamita!’” to which Lydia responds, “Oh, that makes me miss your abuelo” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 11:02). Though this is said in a joking manner, the fact that she is says it so casually indicates that there is some degree of acceptance and normalization. Again, we see that she has become accustomed to openly misogynistic and disrespectful treatment by men, likely because of how and when she was raised. In Cuba, “catcalls, or piropos, and other forms of (non-physical) sexual harassment are unavoidable for women, even on a five-minute walk” (Wadley, 2015). Lydia is likely very used to the kind of behavior Penelope is describing in this scene and has been desensitized to it.

Heteronormativity and the Importance of Physical Appearance 

In that same episode, Lydia also reveals how much she values looking good, while Elena finds looks inconsequential. This difference in perspective reveals how Lydia understands the desire to appeal to, as well as the limited power that comes with the male gaze. Elena is attempting to institute a new composting program at her school but is frustrated when no one listens to her. The family engages in a conversation about what sexism looks like in modern-day America society, and how it differs from the past. Elena explains that sexism is much more subtle and comes in the form of microaggressions, mansplaining, and interrupting women (Bobos and Mamacitas, 12:03). In the next scene, Lydia sneaks into Elena’s room in the middle of the night with a huge, sparkly case of makeup, startling Elena awake. When Elena asks what she is doing, she responds, “if you would wear a little makeup, you would look presentable…and maybe people at school would listen to your garbage ideas” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 15:01). Lydia believes Elena will be more respected and listened to if she is conventionally attractive and appealing to the male gaze. In Cuba during the 50s, “women’s personal appearance was one of the few areas in which it was socially acceptable for them to be self-centered. The physical appearance of the home and the nuclear family was considered a reflection of their success as mothers and wives” (Fabregas, 2010). Lydia feeling confident about her appearance is a way that she reclaims her power from men. Especially in a world where little girls are socialized into taking up less space and remaining subdued,

While Elena is initially willing to try wearing makeup, she then takes it off after only first period. In response to her grandmother’s surprise, Elena explains, “I tried it and I didn’t like it” and Lydia says, “this morning, I saw what you could be. The granddaughter I have always wanted” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 23:05). Elena is understandably shocked and hurt, and tries to express that, while makeup is important to some women, like Lydia, she does not feel empowered by it. Clearly, Elena and Lydia identify with womanhood even though they both have very different definitions. Another example comes during Elena’s quinceañera, when Lydia exclaims, “of course, you are not comfortable [wearing a dress]. It’s called being a woman. I am in agony all of the time, but I look amazing” (Quinces, 10:52). Lydia has become accustomed to sacrificing her personal comfort to maintain her beauty, and even goes so far as to define womanhood as such.

The value Lydia places on good looks is more than just a superficial conforming to misogyny, however. When Elena asks why Lydia wears makeup constantly, she explains that, “makeup makes you beautiful. Beauty gives you power, and that is why I never let anyone see me without it” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 15:30). She therefore is appealing to the male gaze in order to more effectively maintain her autonomy and subvert power. As Lydia tells Elena,  “you will never win men over by confronting them. You flirt with them. You hypnotize them. And then you do whatever the hell you want. And then they will think they are the boss, but really, you are the boss” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 13:32). From her life experience, she has gathered that if women are too upfront with men, they will not be taken seriously, or else men will become defensive. It is a survival mechanism produced by an environment that is openly misogynistic where she cannot be honest or forward. Elena then asks her grandmother why men cannot openly acknowledge when women are in charge. Lydia is quick to sympathize with men, saying “oh, no, they would be so upset” (Bobos and Mamacitas, 13:56). Elena and Lydia have very different conceptions of womanhood, stemming from their difference in the culture they were raised in. What is also fascinating, however, is that these differences have led Lydia to work within the system of patriarchy, while Elena actively works against them. Elena is outspoken about the injustice she sees in the world, especially as it pertains to gender and sexuality. She campaigns hard to create her school’s first Gay-Straight Alliance or GSA and is a part of multiple feminist groups. She is quick to call out her little brother when he makes insensitive comments about women. Lydia, on the other hand, defines herself in relation to other people. For example, referring to herself as Penelope’s mother, and Elena’s grandmother. After World War II, researcher Johanna Fabregas writes that, “the role of women in Cuba as mothers and wives remained prevalent” (Fabregas, 2010).

Elena’s Coming Out

Throughout the series, we can see Lydia and Elena’s minds changing and their worldviews being expanded; because of their interactions with each other. While Lydia’s worldview can be interpreted as a bit old-fashioned to begin with, she is very open to change when Elena comes out as a lesbian towards the end of the first season. Initially, Lydia struggles to accept Elena’s identity, though she does not share this with Elena herself. When she and Penelope are alone, Lydia shares her true feelings. In this monologue, however, she is able to work through it:

“I am a religious woman…and I’m sorry but I have a problem with Elena being gay. It goes against God. Although, God did make us in his image. And God doesn’t make mistakes [motions to herself] Clearly. And when it comes to the gays the pope did say, “who am I to judge?” and the pope represents God. So what, am I going to go against the pope and God? Who the hell do I think I am? Okay. Okay, I’m good” (Pride & Prejudice, 12:14)

Penelope is shocked that her mother is able to untangle her complicated feelings so quickly, but from that moment on, Lydia is nothing but supportive of Elena’s queerness. She was likely taught differently, however, growing up in 1960s Cuba. As author and professor Javier Corrales writes,“the struggle for LGBT rights is now a permanent and public fixture of politics in Latin America and the Caribbean, both in countries that have made strides as well as in countries that are moving slowly” (Corrales, 60). Despite this, Lydia is willing to change for her granddaughter, even asking when the pride parade is. When Elena eventually has her quinces, Lydia is determined to make her a dress that will bring her to tears of joy. Elena tells her she is exploring her style, and after many alterations, Lydia transforms her flowing white dress into a fitted, tailored suit that does indeed, bring Elena to tears (Quinces). Though white dresses are traditional at quinceaneras, Lydia is more than happy to make adjustments to accommodate Elena’s preferences.

Conclusion

One Day at a Time is an extraordinary show for a number of reasons. It discusses modern-day issues with tact, warmth, and complexity. Beyond the plot, what makes the show so compelling is the relationships between family members. Elena and Lydia’s relationship, specifically, is a fascinating case study of the impact of culture on personal identity. Lydia and Elena’s conceptions of gender, sexuality, and what it means to be a woman are different not only because they were raised in different cultures (Cuban and American) at different times (the 1960s and the early 2000s), but because of their interactions with each other. For example, Elena’s queerness provides an opportunity for Lydia to grow and think more critically about the expectations she had placed on Elena. Similarly, Lydia’s belief in power over men stemming from personal appearance challenges Elena to consider there is more than one way to fight against misogyny. The show, on the whole, is incredibly moving and if more mainstream TV shows could create similarly nuanced and heartwarming content, viewers would have a more complex view of certain issues, and people’s identities.

Bibliography:

Coontz, Stephanie. 2013 [1997]. “How History and Sociology Can Help Today’s Families”

Corrales, Javier. 2015. “The Politics of LGBT Rights in Latin America and the Caribbean:

Research Agendas” European Review of Latin American and Caribbean Studies 100, pp. 53-62

del Rio, Esteban, and Moran, Kristin. “Remaking Television: One Day at a Time’s Digital … –

Sage Journals.” Sage Journals, Sage Journals, 22 Jan. 2019, https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0196859918825332.

Fábregas, Johanna I. Moya. “The Cuban Woman’s Revolutionary Experience: Patriarchal

Culture and the State’s Gender Ideology, 1950–1976.” Journal of Women’s History, Johns Hopkins University Press, 6 Mar.        2010, https://muse.jhu.edu/article/375627.

Gill-Peterson, Jules. 2021. “Gender” in The Keywords Feminist Editorial Collective (ed).

Keywords in Gender and Sexuality Studies. New York: New York University Press

Lugones, María. 2008. “Coloniality of Gender” Worlds & Knowledges Otherwise, pp. 1-17

Spring 2008

Martin, Karin. 1998. “Becoming a Gendered Body: Practices of Preschools.” American

Sociological Review 63: 494-511

Mendoza, Linda, director. Elena Comes Out to Lydia, One Day at a Time. YouTube, YouTube, 7

Apr. 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC_omqfTvMA. Accessed 2 May 2023.

Morena, Ines de la. “Machismo, Femicides, and Child’s Play: Gender Violence in Mexico.”

Harvard International Review, Harvard International Review, 31 Aug. 2020, https://hir.harvard.edu/gender-violence-in-mexico-          machismo-femicides-and-childs-play/.

“One Day at a Time.” Rotten Tomatoes, Rotten Tomatoes,

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/one_day_at_a_time/s01.

Pridgeon, Stephanie. “Queering Ethnic Rites of Passage: Transparent and One Day at a Time.”

Academic.oup.com, Oxford Academic, 2022, https://academic.oup.com/melus/article/47/1/22/6565689?guestAccessKey=c92e35a2-ab5e-411c-b9e6-0193e57cfe8d.

Schuller, Kyla. 2021. “Woman” in The Keywords Feminist Editorial Collective (ed). Keywords

in Gender and Sexuality Studies. New York: New York University Press

Wadley, Nicole. “The Truth about Gender Equality in Cuba.” Berkley Center for Religion, Peace

and World Affairs, Berkley Center for Religion, Peace and World Affairs, 1 Oct. 2015,          https://berkleycenter.georgetown.e.            du/posts/the-truth-about-gender-equality-in-cuba.

One Day at a Time Episodes:

“Bobos and Mamacitas.” One Day at a Time, created by Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike

Royce, season 1, episode 2, Act III Productions, 2017.

“Outside.” One Day at a Time, created by Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike Royce, season 3,

episode 2, Act III Productions, 2019.

“Quinces.” One Day at a Time, created by Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike Royce, season 1,

episode 13, Act III Productions, 2017.

“The Turn.” One Day at a Time, created by Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike Royce, season 2,

episode 1, Act III Productions, 2018.

“This is It.” One Day at a Time, created by Gloria Calderón Kellett and Mike Royce, season 1,

episode 1, Act III Productions, 2017.